I want to stick my p in your. b.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
