you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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