If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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