Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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