so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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