it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
