and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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