She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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