The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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