Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
third nipple confirmed
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize