the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
