hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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