Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
