She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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