Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
