you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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