I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
