on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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