sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Mom said you looked used
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
