ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You were trust falling into bushes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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