i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
