just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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