just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
