he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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