the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
