He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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