He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
