Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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