What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
