I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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