Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
