The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
