he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize