my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
