you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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