Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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