my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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