I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I could fuck to npr.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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