i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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