sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
