You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
