Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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