I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize