the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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