so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
