I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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