I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
