So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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