If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
