yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
