But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
