I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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