you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
