How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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