i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
