dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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