he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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