hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I look better un-naked...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
