I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
