I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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