I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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