she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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