Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
