careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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