Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
