I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
