I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
