babies were throwing up all over the place
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
