So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
