i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
