Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize