Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
